Here we go again...

Back to the blogging now, specifically because I have some venting to do. Okay lets see...what has been going on since I last posted. Well one big thing that happened is I finally ( after so long of saying I would do it ) came out to my mom. It was wayyy over due and absolutely necessary as far as I was concerned. I decided the best and easiest way for me to do it was to write her a letter. And it worked pretty well. She got it in the mail and read it and basically told me she had a feeling about it for a while and she totally accepts me and so on. I had a feeling it wasn't going to go down that easy and of course it hasn't. Its still something I think she struggles with and I feel like she is telling herself its just a passing phase and honestly if that is how she chooses to cope with it then fine. I'm realizing as I get older I can't let everything my mom says to me or thinks about me affect me everyday life. She's doing what she needs to do to keep herself happy and I need to do the same. Obviously I love her very much and I want her to accept me but I can't force the issue. She has to come to terms with it at her own time and as for me...I'm just living life. On a more positive note...I'm going to start volunteering at this place called Visuality and its the first LGBTQ center in Southwest Florida. So I'm super psyched about that. We had to go through a five hour training session which was pretty intense. Basically my role is to be there for the kids if they want to talk about anything or any problems they're having. We had to learn how to actively listen and we had to learn what steps we need to take in case any of the kids threaten to commit suicide which I hope I won't have to deal with! It's just scary to think about a kid between the ages of 13-17 thinking of committing suicide but unfortunately in our community its becoming a more common issue.So I'm hoping this Visuality thing will be a positive experience which I don't see why it wouldn't be. I think its really important to give back to the community and especially our youth. Also might be getting a job at Whole Foods which is amazing because who doesn't  LOVE Whole Foods. So I hope my summer is full of working and meeting really great people through Visuality and hopefully helping one or two people along the way. As for my mom, I can't do anything about that. I think the potential repercussions of coming out are starting to hit me. Not that I regret it at all because I absolutely don't. But I'm starting to realize sexuality, which is just one tiny aspect of what makes up a person, hold a lot more weight as far as they way people judge you or perceive you. Call me naive or silly or whatever you want but I honestly think that being gay, lesbian, bi, straight, trans, pans or anything else is really not a big deal! I have a good friend who came out as bi-sexual when we were 14 and when we were 16 came out as a gay man and now she's transgendered male to female. Throughout this whole process I didn't even bat an eyelash. I mean who cares as long as you're happy! I honestly believe we don't have much control over things that we want to have control over but the one thing that is 100% in our control is our happiness. And I would never have the audacity to try and take someone's happiness away. I wish more people would understand that. Anyways thanks for reading my long ass post.
Peace out cub scouts

Here's a beautiful picture for you guys to enjoy! I love it! Nothing like the beach.

Back again...here I am!

I know it's been a while. I really need to devote more time to this. I swear I can get distracted by anything. Okay this time ( I really mean it this time ) I'm going to try and update more regularly. Hmm let's think if there's anything exciting going on in my life. Thinking...thinking...nope not getting anything at all. Well I did see The Hunger Games. And no before you get all judgmental I'm not one of those "bandwagon fans" that haven't even read the books. But if I was who are you to judge?! Moving on...that movie was amazing. I'm a huge fan of the books and I honestly think they did an incredible job sticking to the book without dragging out the movie for hours on end. So all in all I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. Let's see...what else...oh well this Friday my school is putting on the Vagina Monologues ( if you haven't heard of it look it up, its awesome ) and I will be going to that with my lady. Super excited for that. I also decided it would be a great idea to look up trips to Europe that i can't afford to torture myself. I found the perfect trip. 35 days. 15 cities. 7 countries. Absolute perfection. I forgot to mention its $5,550...but I will make this happen within the next year or so. And I shall blog about my European adventures. Two of my best friends are currently studying abroad in Barcelona and I'm so jealous. So bottom line I need to get to Europe somehow. Soon. That's all for now. I'll write more often.
Peace out cub scouts 

ugh I need to get my shit together

My last post was a bit ago. Let's see what's changed...uhh nothing. Nope still have yet to tell my parents. When I say parents I obviously mean my mom and dad as well as my new step dad (2nd one haha) but he's amazing and we all love him and my step mom as well (she's interesting to say the least). But the most important person is my mom. She came to visit this weekend with my sister and step dad. We all had an amazing time but the whole gay thing was kind of the elephant in the room. They have no idea but my friends up here all know as well as my best friends who are semi-scattered around the state at different universities. Oh and not to mention the girl I'm seeing...she's my roommate. Yes ladies and gentlemen...this is my life. Welcome. Please stay a while. So basically the cat needs to be let out of the bag. And soon. All its doing is stressing me out (because I'm very close to my mom and I feel like I'm living two different lives) and its hurting my girlfriend. Even though she is very supportive and lets me know that I can totally take my time and tell my parents at my discretion I feel it still stings a bit to see the woman you care about having to hide your valentine's day present. Shitty I know...so I just have to bite the bullet. But I don't know how to go about it. Maybe a letter? Its just I feel I can get my feelings out better on paper. Even though it doesn't necessarily need to be a long, drawn out issue. There really isn't much to discuss. Its kinda like this is the way I am and if you don't like it then that's pretty much it isn't it? I know I know its not going to be that simple. Just let me live in this delusion for the time being. Its the only way I can deal right now. Alright I'll keep you guys updated! Peace out cub scouts!

annnd I'm back!

Hello cyberspace! I am back again. I'm going to actually make an effort to blog more...it's not that I don't have anything to blog about...trust me I have tons. I just have to find time is all. So let's see what has happened since our last chat...nothing to exciting I don't think. Work is pretty shitty per usual. Trying to figure out my life...I haven't come up with much so if anyone has any ideas just toss 'em my way. I'm currently sitting on my balcony in the 80 degree weather of sunny South Florida. Ahhh a Floridian February...doesn't get much better than this. Add a little mix of music on 8 tracks featuring The Kooks, Foster the People Modest Mouse, MGMT, and Tegan and Sara and its pretty much bliss. Hmmm...let's see what else. Oh! Wiz Khalifa is coming to perform at my university in April so I'm pretty psyched for that. Uhh...turned 22 this January...not really an exciting age but a definite excuse to go out and get extremely inebriated not that I need a reasonable excuse anyway. Alsooo I've had a new lady in my life for a couple months. Getting kind of serious now...so we all know what that means. Time to tell my parents...haha ahh that should be interesting. I don't think they'll react negatively but it's nerve-wracking nonetheless. But I will definitely keep you guys updated as to how that goes! Alright that's all for now. Peace out cubscouts!

Why am I not surprised?

Hello again cyberspace. Its been a while. I feel like I haven't had anything interesting to update everyone on so I've been laying low for a while. But not to worry! I have A LOT to talk about in this post. First off...lets talk about Thanksgiving. This year I went to Ohio to visit some family. I love my family but...well lets just say we don't necessarily agree on most things. My aunt and uncle live in Ohio and unlike the rest of my family they happen to be very religious. Which is totally fine. Whatever makes them happy as long as they don't push their beliefs on me right? Right. Well unfortunately it didn't work out that way. Most things they say/believe I can let roll off my back but...and I know I feel like I talk about this in every post...but my aunt rampaged about the "gay agenda". Let me just allow that to soak in for a moment. And to any gay people who are reading this right now...well I don't know if you got the memo but apparently there is an agenda out there. So you might want to get on top of that because clearly there are things you should be doing. So...moving on...let me describe this so called "agenda" to you. Apparently the gay community (particularly gay college students) are attempting to "criminalize" Christianity. Yes. I don't even think I have to say much else. And this is all according to a Christian magazine...can you imagine that?! A Christian magazine is accusing the gay community of targeting them in a negative way...much like Christians do to the gay community. Sooo...yeah. Lets just say I've never evacuated an area so quickly. I didn't trust myself to sit there and listen to her without flipping a shit and I decided the fight wasn't worth it, especially me staying in their house for a week. So I took some deep breaths and attempted to let  it go but after this rampage I can tell I clearly haven't.

love this...