Back to the blogging now, specifically because I have some venting to do. Okay lets see...what has been going on since I last posted. Well one big thing that happened is I finally ( after so long of saying I would do it ) came out to my mom. It was wayyy over due and absolutely necessary as far as I was concerned. I decided the best and easiest way for me to do it was to write her a letter. And it worked pretty well. She got it in the mail and read it and basically told me she had a feeling about it for a while and she totally accepts me and so on. I had a feeling it wasn't going to go down that easy and of course it hasn't. Its still something I think she struggles with and I feel like she is telling herself its just a passing phase and honestly if that is how she chooses to cope with it then fine. I'm realizing as I get older I can't let everything my mom says to me or thinks about me affect me everyday life. She's doing what she needs to do to keep herself happy and I need to do the same. Obviously I love her very much and I want her to accept me but I can't force the issue. She has to come to terms with it at her own time and as for me...I'm just living life. On a more positive note...I'm going to start volunteering at this place called Visuality and its the first LGBTQ center in Southwest Florida. So I'm super psyched about that. We had to go through a five hour training session which was pretty intense. Basically my role is to be there for the kids if they want to talk about anything or any problems they're having. We had to learn how to actively listen and we had to learn what steps we need to take in case any of the kids threaten to commit suicide which I hope I won't have to deal with! It's just scary to think about a kid between the ages of 13-17 thinking of committing suicide but unfortunately in our community its becoming a more common issue.So I'm hoping this Visuality thing will be a positive experience which I don't see why it wouldn't be. I think its really important to give back to the community and especially our youth. Also might be getting a job at Whole Foods which is amazing because who doesn't LOVE Whole Foods. So I hope my summer is full of working and meeting really great people through Visuality and hopefully helping one or two people along the way. As for my mom, I can't do anything about that. I think the potential repercussions of coming out are starting to hit me. Not that I regret it at all because I absolutely don't. But I'm starting to realize sexuality, which is just one tiny aspect of what makes up a person, hold a lot more weight as far as they way people judge you or perceive you. Call me naive or silly or whatever you want but I honestly think that being gay, lesbian, bi, straight, trans, pans or anything else is really not a big deal! I have a good friend who came out as bi-sexual when we were 14 and when we were 16 came out as a gay man and now she's transgendered male to female. Throughout this whole process I didn't even bat an eyelash. I mean who cares as long as you're happy! I honestly believe we don't have much control over things that we want to have control over but the one thing that is 100% in our control is our happiness. And I would never have the audacity to try and take someone's happiness away. I wish more people would understand that. Anyways thanks for reading my long ass post.
Peace out cub scouts
