life...

It has been forever since I posted here. To be honest the only reason I'm posting right now is I am so extremely frustrated and I definitely need an outlet to vent...so here it is. Lets see...moved out of the apartment I was living in with my ex and moved back in with my mom. Having to share a room with my old college roommate who is currently living at my house...in my room mind you. Finally unpack and get everything set up only to have my mom's best friends daughter come visit for 2 months. Give up my half of my room for her and I am now staying in my mom's room with her. So there's that. I'm still in school though so on Monday morning I get up early and drive the two hours to Fort Myers and stay until Wednesday...where do I stay you ask? With my ex...as you can see this entire situation is fucked. If perhaps my ex was a normal, stable person I would be okay with staying with her. However she is not. It's much like living with two different people. She is one version of herself during the day and another at night. And we can attribute that lovely character change to alcohol...rum and coke to be specific. I used to be able to handle it...but oh man has it gotten out of hand. I can't do it anymore...it's messing with my feelings and anxiety and its not worth it. On top of that a very good friend of mine kissed me the other day. BOOM out of nowhere. I hadn't explored my feelings for her in that way for so long and completely caught me off guard. I still don't know how I feel about it. Oh and she just found out her ex girlfriend is now talking to a mutual friend of theirs....who is a man. And she's obviously upset by it...so we have yet to discuss our kiss in lieu of dealing with the drama involving her ex. Honestly if this isn't a shit show I don't know what is. So as I sit here in my old room in my old apartment blasting tegan and sara and trying to figure out my life I realize...I have no fucking clue what I'm doing. Peace out